Sherman's Crossing
Firefox 2

A Tuber's Tale:

The heart warming story of a boy and his potato gun...

Bob's Tator Gun:

this is my tator gun.....

Potato Pi Calculator*:

Inorder to find characterics about your tator gun, such as velocity, distance, etc. You would have needed to spend years in school studying dilgently such subjects like physics, algebra, calculus, etc. However, your average tator gun owner would have probably dropped out by now and is working at McDonalds scaping the gum off the underside of tables and chairs. So, we here at Bob's Funland have speeded the process up a bit and have provided you, free of charge, this handy dandy Potato Pi Calculator® which provides you all that information with just one click of you mouse. But first we need to know something about your tator gun, and because we did all this work for you, you can at the very least do two very simple tasks for us first.

  1. Shoot your tator gun straight up at a 90o angle.
  2. Record the total amount of time the fired tator spent in the air. (from the moment of dischange to the moment it smashes into the ground. You will, of course need a stopwatch for that, and you must be very accrute; even a faction of a second will skew your results)
  3. Enter your time in the form below, and click on the "calculate" button, and viola, you have everything you wanted to know about the performance of your tator gun.
  4. Wash your hands and repeat. Its that easy.
total time(seconds) tator was in the air (up and down):
meters high your tator went (at 90o)
meters per second velocity upon firing
meters max distance (when launched at 45o angle)
English units:

feet high your tator went (at 90o)
miles per hour velocity upon firing
feet max distance (when launched at 45o angle)

Disclaimer: This Potato Pi Calculator assumes the forementioned potato was launched at ideal conditions such as: at a 90o angle straight up and down so that when it came back down it could have gone straight back down the barrel of the gun or at the very least, hit you in the noggin'. Also, the wind and air resistance, under ideal launching conditions would be zero, so you would somehow find a way to launch it in a vacuum. Not responsible for malfunctions of tator gun, you built it. Nor I am responsible for cases of Sherrif Interuptus which results in the confesction of your tator gun. Check local laws regarding tator gun legalities. And finally, this calculator contains absolutly no Pi what so ever, you'll have to get your Pi fix somewhere else. Also, Microsoft IE6 is a piece of shit for their spotty support of CSS2, and for that matter, the way it also renders certain CC1 properties.

Build your own tator gun:

Building building tator guns awaysss.......

formulas for the potato pi calculator were maliciously lifted from the book:
University Physics, eighth edition
by Hugh D. Young of Carnege-Mellon University,
published by Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, ©1992
The said book in question was purchased in the used book section of the Nebraska Bookstore by my father serveral years ago. Between the purchase of said book and its use in this web page, it just has been gathering dust on our bookself, expect for the one time I used it to reference the speed of sound in water.